HALListic MOMents centers mostly on the HALL House and my MOM moments. No topic is off limit, but my interests range from fitness and food to sharing funny quotes from my kids. I have this notion that I dabble in holistic living because, you know, aromatherapy.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
On friendship, frustration, focus, the fast lane and paying it forward
Today has been a strange day. We left the house shortly before 9 to meet a friend at Chick-Fil-A to play. We arrived shortly after the appointed meeting time, and I pulled into a spot next to a truck. An older man (you know, the retired guy who seems to be a regular, there for his morning coffee) inside stood up and peered out the window toward us. I wondered if I had parked too close. After a few minutes, I decided to pull out of that spot and move to another spot with no cars. I didn't see our friend and apparently we had some time to kill. At this point, I elected to keep the girls in the car and wait.
So we waited.
And waited.
Quickly, my excitement for the playdate melted into a frustration that they are always late. I congratulated myself for being able to get my two girls ready on time and begrudged this new friend for her inability to get her one ready. Like there's an award for that.
Eleven minutes past the hour, I receive the text: Be there shortly.
Hmmm. I decided she was just leaving and that it would be another 10 minutes before she got there. After the 10 minutes of waiting, I had almost decided to go inside when the rain started falling. So I wrote back and said we were waiting in the car for the rain to break. Several more long minutes before a response.
She had been in a "fender bender" rear ending a young woman while merging and was in the process of exchanging insurance information. With a heavy heart and a guilty conscience, I gathered the girls up and walked inside. A good friend wouldn't have been keeping score. A better friend would have come up with a better response than "Oh no, is there anything I can do to help?"
* * *
A few minutes later, the girls spotted our friends coming in. After hugging and exchanging brief pleasantries, she -- still visibly shaken -- left the play area to call her husband.
Meanwhile, an older man came up to the door of the play area. He was waving a $20 bill around slowly. He looked familiar -- possibly the same man that I saw through the window when I initially parked. After a feeble attempt at ignoring him, I went to the door. He held out the money and told me he wanted me to go buy some food for myself, the girls and our friends.
WHAT? I looked at his chipped tooth and laughed awkwardly, um, thank you, but we don't need to eat. I was certain there was someone else who needed this more than we did. And yet, the money ended up in my hands. Did I just take that money? Did I try to give it back? What the fuck just happened there? I thanked the man and told him we would get some food.
When I turned around, my friend was still on the phone. I looked at her daughter and asked her if she'd eaten. Yes, we ate in the car, she said. Huh. I totally couldn't go order food until her mom was off the phone. I had my back to the dining room but felt compelled to go order food.
By the time she was off the phone and I filled her in, we joked that we could use a beer but made our way to the cashiers in a daze. I looked around and realized he was gone. I hadn't noticed him leaving but that pressure to order evaporated; we decided to come back after our trip to the art museum to eat lunch with his money.
* * *
"Can I have some ChapStick, mommy?" On repeat, coming from the back seat, she said. And when she took her eyes off the road briefly to deal with the 4-year-old, she hit the car in front of her. She reported receiving an overwhelming message during her morning prayers about Focus. She thought it had something to do with home life, but upon reflection, she knew He must have been speaking to the fender bender.
* * *
"Did you ask them about a new car seat?" No. We weren't going that fast.
It doesn't matter. You should ask about a new car seat. Car seats must be replaced after any collision.
Oh, thank you for telling me. I did decide that I need to start tightening her straps more. We keep them loose so that she's more comfortable, but now I can explain to her why the straps need to be tightened.
%!#*@&? Yes, that's why we keep the straps tight, right HUGable? For safety safety, momma? Yes, dear, for safety, safety.
* * *
Fed five lunch for just over $16. Dropped the change into a collection bucket for Stop Hunger Now.
Coincidently, her school hosted a fundraising event and meal packaging for that organization before Thanksgiving. She even had a collection bucket placed at a different Chick-Fil-A.
Like I said, strange day. Need to find someone to drop a $20 on.
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