Never did I ever...

Never did I ever...
...think I would fold and put away 6 loads of laundry today.

I had a lot of time to think. And it hurt. So I came up with several "Never did I ever..." statements to ultimately share the final one that I really truly never, ever thought I would consider. So...

Never did I ever...

• ... think my English teacher would recommend me for the newly formed newspaper class. 
• ... expect that I would win a scholarship from a state gaming (as in, gambling) foundation... or that it would be a renewable scholarship, increasing in award amounts each year of college. 
• ... think my parents would drop me off at Parent Parenthood and push me to apply for the job I saw in the classified ads... or think that the pivotal moment would lead to a career in teaching.
• ... plan to play in the Powder Puff game or expect to gain the injury of a lifetime. 
• ... think I'd marry that guy who laughed at me after that game.
• ... imagine working at a fast food joint, health insurance company, power company, casino or for a professional baseball team. But the shoe store? That was always a dream!
• ... dream that my first extended time away from my family would be studying a semester abroad. 
• ... expect to quit two dreams jobs (one that I never started) to move across the country for love. 
• ... imagine living in Texas and loving it for reasons only Texans understand. 
• ... realize how hard it is to cultivate long-lasting friendships and let go of the flailing ones. 
• ... think long lost students would thank me later for the lessons, the literature and the love for learning they took from my classes. So touching, always. 
• ... imagine I would lose classmates, friends or students to suicide. Never forgotten: Jake, Ian and Victor. 
• ... dream that I would gain two girls within 15 months of one another. 
• ... imagine my birth experience would be anything but natural. 
• ... expect to give up breast feeding my first or think that I'd be beyond successful with my second. 
• ... want to be a stay at home mom, until after watching the daycare cam and believing I could do better. 
• ... think I'd live to see the San Francisco Giants win the World Series... three times... after moving away from the West Coast.
• ... think I'd join a direct sales company... selling the most amazing organic skincare, cosmetics and essential oils.
• ... fathom wanting to buy a travel trailer to explore this great state and country. Interested in hearing more? I'm thinking about starting a new blog to chronicle the experience of researching, purchasing and adventuring. 

Leave your favorite "never did I ever" in the comments, let me know if you have any questions about these one and whether you have any ideas on names for the new blog. 

Books to Read to Your Child Before Kindergarten

Several weeks ago, I tore out the article "10 books to read to your child before kindergarten" from my Parents Magazine to remind me to go check out a few books from the library. I found it and wanted to find the digital version, so I could have the list handy to reference on my phone.

"10 books to read to your child before kindergarten" 

The list includes:

• One First Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss. A family favorite. I think we even have two copies. Check.
• One Family by George Shannon. Need to read! Looks great, but I couldn't find it at the library or in digital format online. We did, subsequently, check out a few other books by this author, including Who Put the Cookies in the Cookie Jar? -- Totally was so much more than a song, like I expected. Really incredible book. We already read Turkey Tot quite some time back, but we pulled it off the shelf at the library to read again for fun. If only all our berry picking problems could be solved with tin cans and ribbon. 
• Monsters Love School by Mike Austin. Really loved reading this after heading to the library with the list. I'd like to look into other books by this author.  
• Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak. A classic, but shockingly... I don't think we've read this. 
• Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein. The Giving Tree is the only Silverstein book we've read so far. Clearly, I have a mounting reading list developing. 
• Bully by Laura Vaccaro Seeger. Found this at the library and the girls loved it. 
• Llama Llama Time to Share by Anna Dewdney. We've read a few from the Llama series including Llama Llama Holiday Drama and Llama Llama Mad at Mama. I expected this one to be brother/sister sharing but it was with the neighborhood kid. So hard to watch the little people struggle with this. 
• Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr, John Archambault and Lois Ehlert. LOVE this book and it really helped the girls learn their alphabet... when they were 2! I actually preferred Chicka Chicka 123 as it helped them learn to count to 100. There are lots of great alpha books out there but few that help with number counting past 10. 
• Don't Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late! by Mo Willems. LOVE LOVE LOVE everything Willems has written. We learned to love Pigeon and the Elephant and Piggie books (favorite is We are in a Book! -- hilarious) at Barnes & Noble story time. Highly recommend! Check out the Beastie Toys YouTube channel for several Elephant & Piggie Read Alouds. 
• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. I remember reading this maybe when I was in the, I don't know, 3rd or 4th grade? Reading this to my kids now never even hit my radar. I'm so looking forward to checking this out and reading it to them. 

Not a bad list. Okay, but here's the thing: as I was looking for the link to the Parents article online, I started seeing several other book lists. And, you know, I got curious...

• 100 books to read before kindergarten
• 1,000 books before kindergarten

The second, as it turned out, wasn't a book list but a non-profit based in Nevada challenging parents and kids to make the pledge to read 1,000 books. At first, I felt the heat on the back of my neck. But then I started looking at the numbers. Even if my kids had read no books from birth up until this point, we could read 6 books a day and still achieve the goal. Totally doable!

Except... that we have been reading. Lots and lots of books. So I make lists with the girls, going through lists like the 100 books to read, award winners and best children's books lists. Right now, we're just shy of 500 books and haven't finished taking inventory of the books we have at home.

Our children's librarian assured us that there are more than enough books in the children's collection to accomplish our goals, including 700 books in Spanish. Normally, we check out books in groups of five so it's easier to remember how many books we need to find and return. Now we're checking out 10 at a time, in addition to reading up to 10 there before we leave.

Once we get home, it doesn't take us long to consume the ten new library books, and it often takes us a few days before we're able to get back to the library. We have found that there are a number of videos, typically found on YouTube but occasionally on book publisher's website, for us to watch. While some of the videos are simple storytelling with page turning, others add exciting animations of the characters that enhance the story.

Our reading rut has come to an end and their books are spread far and wide through every corner of the house. I'm okay with that. 

Two pieces of work: Removing Crayon from Untreated Wood

This morning before I was up, J asked if she could use the iPad. I told her no, suggested she go color, rolled over and drifted back to sleep. Not too long later, I heard... 

K, weeks away from 4 years old

J, 5 years old

... what I later realized was the sound of crayon on wood. 

We have this whole "crayons are for paper" mantra and thought the girls were past the point where they needed constant supervision with crayons. After putting breakfast in the oven, I promised K that I'd come see her coloring. I stood at the table, looked at the chairs and asked, "What happened?"

"No, mommy. Not that. Look at my paper."

As the panic, horror, disappointment and anger settled into my chest, I turned around and walked away to tell Daddy-o that I couldn't deal with it. Sometimes (rarely, let's be honest) I'm as cool as a cucumber. I mean, I want to be that way, but I'm really having a hard time putting it in perspective and playing the Enlightened Mother who talks in the calm voice and focuses on the teachable moment. 

So Daddy-o took a look and came back with the kidlets and asked them to apologize to mommy and informed them that they would scrub the chairs until the crayon was gone. We queried the Internet to figure out how to remove crayon from untreated wood. Luckily, Crayola had us covered: 

Add caption

Removing crayon from unfinished wood

Supplies needed

• Rubbing alcohol
• Spray bottle
• Soft cloth

You'll also need your culprits. Decided to set the timer for 15 minutes and asked them to pose with a sad face once they were done. As you can see, the marks are still present but much lighter than in the original pictures. 

Would you like some cheese with that ham?

After 30 minutes, the marks are lighter still, however, they're still noticeable enough to serve as a reminder of the crime. Looks like eventually the girls will have a painting project, but for now we'll try to keep the crayons on paper.

What are your favorite uses for rubbing alcohol?
Suggestions on how to focus on the teachable moment?

Your most memorable date?

[Edited: 29 Feb 2016 - I WON! Thank you so much Cassaundra Lala! I look forward to picking out my LaLa for LuLaRoe Randy Baseball Tee and Cassie Pencil Skirt! Join ]

Recently, this question was posed for an online contest. I could have chosen any number of memories, but this memory stood out for so many reasons.

•

I started online dating in 2000 shortly after graduating from college. There were plenty of dates I wish I could forget, but, to this day, there is one that is the most memorable. And in reflection, being a married mom, I'm no longer the annoyed 20-year old, but I feel sad for the struggle this man faced and the courage it must have taken to go on the date. He said he was just out of a relationship. He brought me a flower wrapped in a wet paper towel. His car smelled like wet dog. He had a terrible sense of direction and self. I won tickets on the radio for a private concert with a band I was actually pretty excited to see. I asked if he'd be my +1. Concerts aren't a great venue for first dates, I realized. I knew I wasn't interested within the first five minutes but decided to tough it out. Recently divorced, this father hadn't been on a date in 6 years. I don't remember his name, but sincerely hope he was able to recover... Both from our date and losing his family. 

•

So, while we're sharing... what was yours?

Walk a mile in my socks

Walk a mile in my socks, said the literalist. 

I just did. You see:

Round and round. On tile and carpet. Running into walls. Grabbing my stainless water bottle to drink like I'm in an important race. Watching the watch as updates roll in. Realizing there is a tornado watch set to hit the Gulf Coast. 

What? Checking the Weather Channel app. Dizzy while walking. 

Learning that locally it's just a wind advisory. With gusts up to 40mph. 

Well, okay. Still a severe weather alert. One thing I hate more than walking in the cold is walking in the wind. Good thing I'm walking. I probably won't get back outside today. 

Maybe I'd have better luck if I stopped and took off my socks. 

Peeking, did UPS come yet? Nope. Ugh. The dog will let me know. Amazon is bringing a watch band and party supplies. 

*buzz* Oh, half way done! Yay me! If only this wasn't so boring. Really ought to save the indoor walking for really bad weather. But severe weather advisory, they said. So. Okay, pushing through. 

The carpets smell like dog. 

Namastay-in-bed for the rest of nap time watching Netflix. 

Why big sky? Why?

I don't understand. 

I didn't complain about the rain. I thought about rainbows. 

I didn't mean to take a break. I tried to rest my body and lingering pains. 

I didn't mind so much that the dog peed on me a few weeks ago. But the kid? She didn't deserve it. 

She was just as excited to walk the dog as he was to be walked. I, too, was excited for it was my attempt to breath new life into the exercise plan. 

Little sister, though, had darker designs. Complaints about her legs not working. About not wanting to go on the full neighborhood loop. Wanting to jump into my arms for the easy ride. A tempest resides in that one. 

Perfectly pleased she was to turn around after stinker dog tinkled on sister. 

For them the rainbow is in the bubble bath upstairs right now. I should be up there, but if I get up in their business, their yellow memory will fade to blue. 

But the on and off of the water is concerning. Last time the standing water was, too. Splish splash I was taking a bath, she just sang. 

The walk will have to wait until later. If you're agreeable to it. 

* 

Their Bee Lovely bubble bath. 

Why oh why?

One foot in front

^^ Taken today after the sun pushed the rain clouds away long enough for us to walk the dog.

I  walked 5 miles along a stretch of land that for the most part wasn't meant to be traversed. There were parking lots and side walks but the majority of the unplanned walk paralleled the side of a busy road. 

After deciding to walk, I regretted it. Not the beautiful sunny day. Or even neglecting to apply sunscreen. A hat would have been nice, but the honking rattled me. My young, urban West Coast self could handle whistles or honking, but this suburban soccer mom, now living in the South, took it as a siren that she needed to return to safety and hug her babies. 

Despite the gnawing dread of a bad decision, only one foot in front of the other would take me back. Normally, I would be wearing flip flops. That day, I chose well: a new pair of Merrell hikers. The shoes broke in newly paved feeder roads and muddy tracks adjoining the creek... and brought me safely back to my neighborhood, where a block from my house, a car stopped and offered me a ride home. 

 

Why I walk

THESE DAYS: What a good day looks like

Arthritis prevents me from running.

Until a few years ago, I never considered that I might even be able to run. I completed a couch to 5K training program but it wasn't without considerable pain, especially as the runs got longer.

Normally, a nearly 40-year old wouldn't have these problems. In my case, an ACL reconstruction two decades prior made the early onset of arthritis a certain reality.

When a friend asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted to start running in the morning, I settled with walking. I'd prefer the ability to walk in 40 years to pushing my luck with running now.

I am not a fire hydrant and other... trashy stories

Today is trash day. The first of two my city has this week. I have never lived anywhere with two trash days and still am not entirely sure why its necessary, except perhaps for the smell of a week of rotting trash in the summertime. But still. It seems excessive. Perhaps if the city chose to provide compost pickup, then the smell of trash in the summertime wouldn't be a problem? Enlighten me, please! 

But I started out on my walk this morning in high spirits, looking inspiration in the sidewalk. The story of trash was sidelined when the dog lifted his leg. This is the first time, and I hope the last time. No, there were no fire hydrants in sight. I wasn't wearing red. I stopped near a manhole cover and felt the sun shining, and my pants getting wet. The dog got time out and didn't get to finish the walk.

TXT MSG EXCHANGE BETWEEN ME & HUBS: 

Me: Dog just peed on my effing leg

Hubs: Not in the house I hope

Me: Lol no

Me: Eff him

Me: On a walk w mom and the girls

Hubs: No fire hyrdrant in sight?

Me: Mom made me turn around and go home to change

Me: We stopped by manhole cover outside back gate

Hubs: How exactly did he hike a leg without you noticing?

Me: I turned around to watch mom struggle to get the gate closed

Hubs: [silence]

[I'm going to call uncle here. There is nothing about the rest of this post that is remotely more interesting than me being peed on, but I started the day with something to say... and here it is. It's not funny, so if you want funny, re-read the text conversation and try not to pee you pants. Sucker.]

[Seriously. The rest of this is just kind of annoying, ranty and whiny.]

Anyhow, being the Monday following Super Bowl 50, I expected there to be quite a bit of trash. I expected to see yard waste from neighbors having time on the weekend to clean up their yards. I even wasn't surprised to see a few boxes for new TVs, as it's one of the best times of the year to find good prices on these TVs. But it never ceases to amaze me just how many boxes litter the landscape on trash day. 

Is it so hard to save the boxes to put out on recycling day? This isn't a problem that's isolated to my neighborhood, so I hope that it's not seen as a particular criticism of any one family. I took pictures on my walk today to illustrate and cropped so as not to identify. I didn't keep any tallies for the number of trash bags, cans or boxes, though I've often wondered what those statistics would look like. And I certainly acknowledge that a number of households had no trash out or just one half full bag.

Trash and recycling days always seem to coincide with windy days. But today, the knocked over trash cans were more likely a result of our neighborhood's nocturnal friends who wander the neighborhood looking for a free meal. 

At my house, I put the trash and recycling out to ensure that the boxes get recycled. I often forget to put the trash out or am running to get it together and miss it before the blue truck comes by which is what happened last week and caused us to have two bags instead of one. 

[You made it this far? Sorry. I told you so. You just wasted your time. Kind of trashy of me to do that to you, wasn't it? #sorrynotsorry #stinker ]

The Owl

Birds, and more specifically raptors, are very much a part of my home. As spring comes, our driveway is decorated with the white splatter paint from nesting hawks and owls. There will be more stories about that, I'm sure, but this is a different story. This story is about the dead owl on the side of the road.

A few days ago, the girls and I went on a walk with the grandparents. As we looped around the neighborhood and neared our house, the dog and I brought up the rear while the girls and mom lead the way. I couldn't hear their conversation, but when I spotted the owl, I pulled back around and knelt down looking at it. The dog, surprisingly, was 100 percent not interested, which is good but makes me wonder now (after having read about dead birds) if the owl may have been ill and the dog could sense or smell it.

Based on my observation, it's small figure and fluffy, downy feathers appeared fully intact. It would have made a nice specimen to take to the nature center. No damage. No blood. Natural beauty.

Color sheet from the nature center's lesson on owls

Apparently the 5 year old was a little unsettled about the whole affair. But this isn't the first dead bird she's seen. A few weeks ago, her teacher at the nature center shared a newly dead bird with the...

[my 10 minutes are up... a little shaky from the walk still and typing slowly today. Need water, but have more story to tell]

... class after the bird became disoriented and ran into the education building's door. They often see skeletons, fur and have a hands-on learning experience there. But, death is death. The kids are still learning to process death and I forget that my scientific curiosity is their confusion about the circle of life, their mortality and the mortality of those closest to them.

Still though, after the second day of seeing the owl, I started wondering how one would dispose of an owl. Dad suggested a bucket with a plastic bag. That reminded me about last summer's dead bird in our front yard and opossum in the back yard. We (and by we, I mean my husband) used a rake and shovel to move those. In this case, though, I actually did an online search on how to properly dispose of the bird.

I fancied myself disposing of the bird this time, but then I paused after reading that a dead raptor should be reported to local officials or wildlife resource officers. I left for my walk this morning equipped with confidence of my new internet knowledge and nothing. The owl was gone. The end.

*

Wish I would have taken a picture the first time. Or even the second time passing it. Was planning to take a picture today. Instead, I've been browsing birding pages. Based on the size the shape of the face, I'm calling it an Eastern Screech Owl.

RIP. My wish for you, wise one, is that you died of natural causes and not from poison.

Mr. Hall is calling me a nosy old hoot owl. Thanks, babe.

Notes from the sidewalk

During the last week, I have taken to the street. Along with the dogs, the kids and occasionally the grandparents, we walk through the neighborhood in an effort to reach my (and our, in the case of my mom) daily step and mileage goals as measured by the FitBit.

But there are a great many nights after the kids go down where I'm still short of my 5 mile goal. Night walking in the neighborhood is a treat. Without the sun as a distraction, I'm left to ponder the day, the sidewalks and listen to the cars on the freeway... and just wonder.

I decided tonight that I want to add a new goal to my walking: each night when I come home, I want to sit and complete a timed write for my blog. Ten minutes. And then maybe a few more to reread and edit.

I used to ask my students to write for 10 minutes, but I rarely engaged in the task myself. I owe it to them to do some timed writes of my own. I just looked at the clock a second ago and there were still six more minutes. It'll come easier as I begin to get accustomed to the time and am able to better gauge what I can write in that amount of time.

While walking I was thinking that I should start keeping a list of all the blog topics that I'd like to write about. As a teaser, I'll start the list here:

• Recycling day 
• Garbage day
• No good deed goes unpunished
• Former student sightings

(3 minutes left)

• Safety dog
• The owl
• Good deeds
• Soccer

(2 minutes)

Okay, so at yoga today, we had to hold a pose for 11 minutes. Seriously. Eleven. I thought I was going to die. I didn't even have a clock to watch, like I'm doing now with this post. But I'm happy to report that I didn't die. I kept breathing even though I couldn't keep my arms up the whole time. 

• Let your heart shine

Alright, with 16 seconds,  I'll go ahead and call this moderately successful first attempt. My writing can only improve from here, right?

Be well!


EDITED 7 FEB 16: Additional ideas

• Good citizen award
• Why I walk